Q: I know your old song titled “Way Back to Love – You cannot love while winning”. I didn’t understand a meaning of the lyrics that we cannot be happy if we try to love while winning before. Now I understand it deeply after reading your recent messages. It is because that is not something out of the true essence… If it is true, we New Age people, people who are involved in self-help seminars may have taken a wrong path. I am concerned whether we have brought such social ideas as “victory or defeat” and the ego (a sense of separation) even in New Age or religious activities. Please talk more about it, MARTH.
That’s correct. I appreciate your opinion. I have conveyed it since youth. To love while winning is to love while keeping the ego. This is completely opposite with each other. I always felt seriously about something while I was meditating. My fellow meditators who meditate with a belief of the ego all had out-of-body experiences, keeping the ego as it is. And those who have the quality of oneness, of the selflessness return to Shinga (Atman) during a meditation. I wondered what on the earth it is. I used to feel deeply as such when I was young.
My fellows who attended seminars became involved in New Age movement as well. I realized that people who went into New Age and religions have had difficulties in improving themselves and suffered while having a value based on victory or defeat, conflict, struggle, such consciousness of a sense of separation, belief in a sense and a mechanism of the separated societies.
That’s because everything is connected as one. In other words, there is no difference between each other. Even if there seems to be some difference, the difference is to work as a whole. There are people with different characteristics, and they help each other and support each other. I believe it is the true world and the truth of the universe. However, to hold such separated value as competition, comparison and so on is not something essential or holistic. Having something opposite to the true essence (a sense of separation) is quite unsuitable for being involved in healing, New Age, therapies and so on. I could not help but say to them that such fear or desire to boost the ego doesn’t fit the world of truth.
If you go into such world with a sense of separation, you may have difficulties in growing and will suffer. People who have no sense of separation, whose ego is over, who feel fed up with winning, and for this reason, who try to recover the quality of oneness will have luck. If they have a sense of separation, of competition, and desire to win over others, they will find the world painful. Certainly, they may feel painful in the egoistic society, or feel more difficult in such spiritual world. Feeling everything as a fake themselves, they may punish themselves more. This proves that we are love itself and sincerity itself.
I was extremely concerned about it. That’s why I kept telling my fellows that having a value based on victory or defeat is wrong, it is an act of the ego, of the separation since long ago, although they hated me to say so. As you have just mentioned, the quality of oneness is most important whether you are involved in the world of meditation, in the world of religion, in the spiritual world or New Age.
If leaders who lead humanity to the true being want to become great, to become somebody or to stand out believing in a value based on victory or defeat, it will be quite tragic. And people who follow and join the leaders will find them in a tragedy. They will never grow and suffer instead. They will only increase knowledges and ideas for fighting. That is because such things of beauty will be found only in the quality of oneness, and in love for losing as thoughts of the ego diminish.
Therefore, we need to deepen our awareness of illusions made of separations first of all. Moreover, we need to have deeper awareness of our surroundings, environments and our parents which we had decided to forgive. It will be a precious support for you that you embrace and accept your own hatred, love it, put an end to the source of conflict, and try to live with your mission accordingly. It will be hard for you to live in the world of New Age, religion and healing unless you stop struggling with your ideas and beliefs coming from your parents and surroundings. You will have extremely hard and painful time if you choose to fight with them out of fear and chagrin, of the ego.
As you suggest, we need to overcome it. If we think of New Age, healing, spirituality and religiousness, everything should come from the quality of oneness, that everything is connected as one, and accep to lose. Unfortunately, it is not something related to knowledge or theory. If each of us has various characteristic, it is nothing but characteristics of each part within a whole. When we realize it, we will see beautiful flowers blossom in the spiritual world, and the same thing will be true in the world of the ego, in our conventional societies.
We need to overcome a sense of separation so that we will feel deeply that it is O.K. to lose. Otherwise, true success, true and sustainable prosperity, joy and happiness will never be realized. In other words, only then, true you, the true essence, and the beautiful world which gods truly wanted will be fulfilled. The song, “You cannot love while trying to win” is really true. To win is to separate. To love is to be connected as one. They are opposite from each other. If you truly want to win together, you should be connected as one in reality. You should be trying to stop illusions of the ego. You should begin to realize there is no self. Unfortunately, only within deep awareness that everything is connected as one, you will find real happiness. That is what love is. Therefore, it is impossible that we love while trying to win.
When you wish to love and feel like you want to lose on behalf of your daughters, sons, friends, brothers, sisters, teachers, fellows, fathers, mothers, grand-mothers, grand-fathers, and the world, when you have such heartfelt wish, you all will find yourself filled with love… MARTH